if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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