My friends, they love my intelligence
i barfeds in our rink
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
