I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
