I will die if light touches me.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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