you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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