I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we're making bets on your personal life
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
