My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
