if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
