Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
