i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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