so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize