I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My hand turned me down
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
