just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
