New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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