No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
