i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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