So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
