I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
