they need to just BURY HIM!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
