that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize