I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
