So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize