will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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