i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
