oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
