K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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