i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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