quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
