found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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