Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
