Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
