My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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