I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
