Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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