i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
my poor anus
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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