Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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