having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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