Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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