Just fell off a train. Bad.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
