Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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