My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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