We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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