I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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