are you so shy because you have an std?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
