in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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