my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
we're so committed to being not committed
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
