using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
