google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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