Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
