I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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