Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
