Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You are a genius and a whore.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
