Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
