i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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