she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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