no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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