You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
