Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
