And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize