Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
