I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize